Moxie
Multiple Major Winner
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I was hoping you could also appreciate some of the "laughing it off" that women do, as @Horsa says. We're used to it, and there is an amusing side to it, which I was trying to give some space here.I'll try to investigate to find out exactly what the nature of the cat calling was. There might be some literature out there in the ether.
Your story about being grabbed in the crotch instantly brought up a memory of walking down Ban Lang in Phuket. A gay Thai guy grabbed my crotch. My friends and a couple of Danish guys had to hold me back and calm me down. It was pointed out to me that the Thai's wouldn't take kindly to a foreigner beating the crap out of one of their own. I went back to my hotel room and insisted I was getting out of that Sodom and Gomorrah the next morning. We moved across the bay to Krabi that very next day
So you got grabbed in the crotch, too? Therefore, you can appreciate what it means to be physically and minorly sexually abused in public. In my case, I had more leeway than you, perhaps. I was a student, and had an armful of heavy books, and I threw them all at him, completely impetuously, and hit him full-on in the back. The "oomph" from him was satisfying, and he ran away. I was in no danger of retribution, I don't think. He was a coward. But we were on a small street, and I was with one girlfriend, otherwise the street was empty. I suppose it could have gone another way. (And please don't tell me I assaulted him.)
Your experience is likely a one-off, for a man. And you felt you were in Sodom and Gomorrah. Mine is but one example, as I live in this world as a woman. Any number of crotch grabs in the subways, around the world. (Paris subway is terrible.) A friend of mine taught me this one for the crowded subway: keep a straight pin in your lapel, and when a hand gropes you, poke it with the pin. That's very effective. But it's a bit sad we have to teach each other these techniques.
Here's a good one: I was on the bus to the Vatican from midtown Rome. A man, taking me as an American student, pressed his erection against me. I shouted out in Italian that the man was a disgusting pervert. The bus was full of nuns. They all swiveled around and glared at him, and he got off at the next stop. It's funny story, but it was also really disgusting. Did I need or deserve that? I have a worse one actually in St. Peter's, during mass. I wasn't comfortable to shout out, and it was hard to move away, in the crowd. You keep saying men are as abused as women. I really don't know how you calculate that.