Jokes
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A lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady explained, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Oh well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady explained, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Oh well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
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Kieran
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A man is on a street corner in Moscow yelling “The president is an idiot.”
Police surround him and handcuff him. They say “it is illegal to insult President Putin.”
He says “You don’t understand. I mean the Ukrainian president, Zelensky, he is the one I was insulting.”
The police captain says “you can’t fool us, everyone knows who the idiot is.”
Police surround him and handcuff him. They say “it is illegal to insult President Putin.”
He says “You don’t understand. I mean the Ukrainian president, Zelensky, he is the one I was insulting.”
The police captain says “you can’t fool us, everyone knows who the idiot is.”
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Federberg
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Federberg
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Federberg
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Federberg
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From The Week:
Rob Brydon recently recounted one of the last jokes he heard from his late friend and Radio 4 colleague, the great Barry Cryer.
It’s about a man talking to the vicar before his wife’s funeral service. The vicar asks him if he has any questions. “Yes, what’s the Wi-Fi code?” The vicar is appalled.
“We are burying your wife!”
To which the man says: “All lower case?”
Rob Brydon recently recounted one of the last jokes he heard from his late friend and Radio 4 colleague, the great Barry Cryer.
It’s about a man talking to the vicar before his wife’s funeral service. The vicar asks him if he has any questions. “Yes, what’s the Wi-Fi code?” The vicar is appalled.
“We are burying your wife!”
To which the man says: “All lower case?”