Jokes
- Thread starter britbox
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Federberg
The GOAT
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Federberg
The GOAT
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2013
- Messages
- 15,597
- Reactions
- 5,693
- Points
- 113
Federberg
The GOAT
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2013
- Messages
- 15,597
- Reactions
- 5,693
- Points
- 113
Federberg
The GOAT
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2013
- Messages
- 15,597
- Reactions
- 5,693
- Points
- 113
Federberg
The GOAT
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2013
- Messages
- 15,597
- Reactions
- 5,693
- Points
- 113
Moxie
Multiple Major Winner
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tented
Administrator
tented
Administrator
tented
Administrator
A Holocaust survivor died recently. Goes to Heaven and upon meeting God, he decided to tell a Holocaust joke. Then God said "That's not funny", to which the Jew replied "Oh, I guess you had to be there".
tented
Administrator
My mate broke his leg so I went to see him at home. I walked in and what do I see? He had two gorgeous older sisters, and they're TWINS ! I had never met them before, apparently they live at the uni and were visiting.
Anyway, so I went up to my friend's room, “How are you mate?”
“Yeah I’m okay. But do me a favour mate. Go fetch my socks from downstairs. My feet are freezing.” he tells me.
So I rushed downstairs and found his two sisters perched up on the couch, right where his socks lay.
I say to them, “Your brother has sent me down here to have sex with both of you"
They respond “Get away with ya... Prove it.”
I shouted upstairs, “Hey, mate! Both of them?”
He shouted back “Of course both of them! What’s the point in fucking one?”
Anyway, so I went up to my friend's room, “How are you mate?”
“Yeah I’m okay. But do me a favour mate. Go fetch my socks from downstairs. My feet are freezing.” he tells me.
So I rushed downstairs and found his two sisters perched up on the couch, right where his socks lay.
I say to them, “Your brother has sent me down here to have sex with both of you"
They respond “Get away with ya... Prove it.”
I shouted upstairs, “Hey, mate! Both of them?”
He shouted back “Of course both of them! What’s the point in fucking one?”
tented
Administrator
In 2017, Trump went to meet Vladimir Putin in Moscow...
They had dinner at the Kremlin and sat down afterwards alone for drinks and cigars and to discuss business.
After a little bit Putin asks Trump "hey, you wanna see something?" and he rings a little bell that's sitting on the coffee table.
A beautiful blond walks in to the room, kneels in front of Putin, and without a word starts giving him a blowjob right there in front of Trump.
A few minutes go by and Putin smacks the blond once on the back of the head, she gets up, and without a word leaves the room.
Putin smiles at Trump. "You wanna try too?" He asks.
"Yes" says Trump enthusiastically "but please don't smack my head when you're done".
They had dinner at the Kremlin and sat down afterwards alone for drinks and cigars and to discuss business.
After a little bit Putin asks Trump "hey, you wanna see something?" and he rings a little bell that's sitting on the coffee table.
A beautiful blond walks in to the room, kneels in front of Putin, and without a word starts giving him a blowjob right there in front of Trump.
A few minutes go by and Putin smacks the blond once on the back of the head, she gets up, and without a word leaves the room.
Putin smiles at Trump. "You wanna try too?" He asks.
"Yes" says Trump enthusiastically "but please don't smack my head when you're done".
tented
Administrator
A man’s walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows. “Twenty bucks,” she says. He’s never been with a prostitute before, but he decides what the hell.
They are going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them—it’s a policeman.
“What’s going on here?” asks the officer.
“I’m making love to my wife,” the man answers indignantly.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” says the cop, “I didn’t know.”
“Well,” said the man, “to tell the truth neither did I until you flashed that light on her face.”
They are going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them—it’s a policeman.
“What’s going on here?” asks the officer.
“I’m making love to my wife,” the man answers indignantly.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” says the cop, “I didn’t know.”
“Well,” said the man, “to tell the truth neither did I until you flashed that light on her face.”