What do you think of Bernard Tomic?

[nehmeth]

If I "listened" to what my kids wanted everyday, they would be playing Xbox in bed and never leave their room.

:clap

perfect.

 

[Moxie]

Does John Tomic hold Bernie back? Again, I think a lot of Bernie's success can be attributed to John Tomic. But maybe John (as many parents) need to know when to let go and pass the baton. Going forward, I think this will be necessary if Bernie is to fulfill his potential.

I agree with this.

 

[Murat Baslamisli]

This question reminds me of a great exchange from Fountainhead by Ayn Rand:

Ellsworth Toohey: Mr. Roark, we're alone here. Why don't you tell me what you think of me in any words you wish.
Howard Roark: But I don't think of you!

 

[britbox]

^ Ha, ha... too good.

 

[DarthFed]

No one that young , playing pro tennis, should have such weak legs as Tomic. That is lack of commitment, pure and simple. When he first started coming on the scene, I was a bit excited, but it wore off quickly. The whole father thing, the playboy stuff...Hey, he might turn it around and become someone, but I am not holding my breath. To me, he is the Beiber of tennis.

Except David Goffin who probably makes Tomic look like Ronnie Coleman Another guy who needs to munch a fair few burgers and build some muscle on those twigs.

I think Goffin is still stuck in 1955 ordering Pepsi free instead of the 16 Oz. steaks he should be devouring.

Goffin will always be undersized though he could still get way more meat on his bones. Tomic has no excuses.

 

[Front242]

Great Scott !

 

[El Dude]

britbox, its one thing pulling your kid out of bed and getting them to engage in what they love to do, but its another to force them into something that they may or may not love to do, but because you (the parent) want them to do it.

I'm actually a high school teacher and student counselor and I see variants of both. Part of my job as counselor is to help young people learn to listen to what they deeply want, to find their own voice and direction - even if it is different from what their parents want. This is an ideological choice, you might say, but its one that I make consciously. I don't see myself as an agent for the parents and what they want (which usually has more to do with them and their issues, than the good of their child), except insofar as the degree to which they want the happiness and deep wellbeing of their child. But really I see myself as an advocate for the student, their individuality and well-being - and finding their own individual path and passion through life.

Like you say, we don't really know the "Tomic truth" - or at least I don't. I'm more speaking in terms of "if X, then Y."

Dude, If I "listened" to what my kids wanted everyday, they would be playing Xbox in bed and never leave their room.

You're missing the nuance, britbox. First of all, I wrote what children "deeply want" - so emphasize that deep part. So you could see there being two layers, two depths - the surface likes and dislikes (Xbox) and whatever the underlying interest or potential passion is. But again, this is ideological. I believe that every human being is born with a kind of innate "destiny" or individual calling that they "deeply" wish to actualize in the course of their life. This isn't specific, like "build a skyscraper," but it is more general like "build beautiful things that are useful to humans."

So it becomes about, as a parent, seeing what your children "deeply" want on a "soul" level, versus their more superficial habits and likes and dislikes, which can get in the way of the deeper quality (although are OK in moderation, in my opinion). The tricky part, though, is listening for what the child most deeply wants to be and not foisting one's own hopes and dreams onto them - which usually has more to do with the parent and their unfulfilled destiny, rather than the destiny of the child. This is, unfortunately, all too common.

One of the best formulations of this general idea is James Hillman's "The Soul's Code." See also Sir Ken Robinson's views on creativity and education,or Abraham Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs."

 

[britbox]

^ All nice in theory buddy, but I look at it far more simplistic terms. For instance, If one of my kids want to pursue a hobby, pastime or sport then I'm right behind them - and if they choose to go down that route then they get full support - whether that be rugby, cricket, painting, ballet dancing, drama... whatever it may be that takes their fancy.

I have no wish to force on any personal ambitionson my kids, I'd rather they just make use of the talents they were given. They have a choice in what they want to do (we're only talking 3 or 4 hours a week) and Xbox isn't on the menu for these slots.

Far from being overbearing, my kids get plenty of time to bum around and waste away hours to their hearts content. Probably too much... but I'll always make sure they are doing something productive for part of their spare time at least. I also believe in taking them outside their own comfort zone once in a while.

Not really too into "new age" thinking with due respect. The tail ends up wagging the dog, although I'll accept it looks good on paper.

I'll throw your question back at you El Dude - take an 8 year old kid and ask him "What he really wants"... based on your experience, what answers were you getting?

 

[House]

Not much.

Simple answer.

 

[herios]

He is still the youngest player on tour to have won a title and he has had a deep run in a slam already, so it is too early to count him out.
With the right coaching (not his father) and right attitude (if he will have it), he could still have a pretty good career in tennis. Not great, but good to very good, possible.