Tennis Frontier Commentates the 2015 Wimbledon Finals

brokenshoelace

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As you all know, everyone checks out the forums, including top players like David Ferrer, who was none too pleased with GSM's accusations. Likewise, various sports channels have sent people to lurk around these parts, and they were deeply upset with our scathing criticism of commentators. So, in an effort to have us put our money where our mouths are, ESPN have asked the fine folks at Tennis Frontier to send their finest armchair commentators to put on a bunch of headsets and call the action for the biggest match of the year. Unable to come to a consensus as to who deserves the honor, the Tennis Frontier wisely opted to make commentary duties a free-for-all where every single poster is eligible.

Kirijax: Hello and welcome to the 2015 Wimbledon championship finals, where defending champion Novak Djokovic takes on 7-time winner Roger Federer.

Tented: What a monumental match this is! A rematch from last year's final, when Federer put on a valiant effort only to suffer a heartbreaking defeat at the hands of Djokovic. However, the Swiss Maestro has looked sensational in his defeat of Andy Murray, and has many feeling optimistic about his chances.

El Dude: Historically, a total of 1 Wimbledon finals were contested between a Swiss and a Serb, with the Serb coming out victorious every time. To better highlight this stat, I have created the following graph which is currently being displayed on your screens. As you can see, history is firmly on Djokovic's side.

Kirijax: As the players are warming up, you really feel this is shaping up to be something really special.

Tented: We are under way! Federer to serve...

Murat: Good start for both. Trading comfortable service holds.

Herios: As you all know, I always root for the underdog. Hence Djokovic being my favorite player since 2011.

Broken_Shoelace: Uhhhhh, Djokovic is the favorite in this match...

Herios: ...No matter. The winner is only warming up the trophy for Milos anyway, before he dominates for years to come.

Kirijax: Federer breaks!

Fiero: GO ROGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :clap:laydownlaughing:hug:eyepop:lolz:

Kirijax: Djokovic breaks back!

Fiero: GO NOVAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lolz::laydownlaughing:clap:eyepop

Riotbeard: Phewwwwww...

Riotbeard: Ahem, I meant, good stuff from the Serb.

Haelfix: You feel Roger may have just cost himself the set by not capitalizing. Novak is more consistent from the baseline and when it gets tight late in the set, he'll be the more solid player. He'll also put more pressure on the Federer serve. If this goes to a tie-break, Federer loses the set.

DarthFed: Garbage from Roger... If he loses this match, his 30's would have been a waste.

Anti-Pusher: ...and if he wins, Nadal's entire career would have been a waste.

Kieran: Brother, what does Nadal have to do with this? Rafa will be back. If Roger is reaching finals in his 30's then surely Rafa, who's owned him, can.

Federberg: Must everything turn into a Fedal discussion?

Everyone: ...

Federberg: ...You know this reminds me, I never really felt that Rafa "owned" Roger per se. I don't care much for the head to head anyway, but surely it is heavily influenced by Roger being able to reach clay finals while Rafa wasn't reaching hard court finals. Must Roger be punished for being good enough on clay? I always found this notion absurd.

Broken_Shoelace: Uhhhhh... they played enough times on hard courts.

DarthFed: Which is embarrassing enough for Roger considering he couldn't capitalize. Roger should be ashamed for losing to the dirt grinder outside of his beloved clay.

Cali: Nalbandian would have never allowed that to happen.

Kieran: Darth, buddy, you don't get it do you? It doesn't matter whether they played on clay, hards, grass, hard grass, water, watered hards, quicksand, or the moon. Surfaces don't matter. Rackets don't matter. Tennis balls don't matter. Balls, on the other hand, do. And that has been the difference. Rafa has balls, Roger doesn't.

Federberg: Two pairs of twins say otherwise.

Kieran: Brother, you still don't get it. It ain't about that. It's about...

nehmeth: ...actually it is. Making love to Mirka takes a lot of balls... Cause you know, she's fat.

Moxie: Oh stop, Mirka is a gorgeous woman who's been every bit as instrumental in Federer's success as he was.

Fiero: What success? The ATP players are gutless and have allowed him to win so much!!!!!!!!!!!! :cover:eyepop:lolz::cry:laydownlaughing:cover

Kieran: Brother, we don't normally agree, but finally, someone who gets it.

Federberg: The Federer generation could have consisted of 8 GOATS had it not been for Roger.

nehmeth: There is no GOAT. GOAT implies "all time" and we can't predict the future.

Herios: I can. I've said time and time again that Fedal will fall. 10 years later, they did.

Mastoor: That's 10 years too many. The Nike Dolls have stuck around long enough. It's time for No1e to send them packing for good.

Everyone: Mastoor!?

Clay_Death: Mastoor the Usurper, I shall strike you down like Clay Warrior strikes down a down the line forehand. Your Great Serbian Slayer lovefest has gone too far, old sport.

Everyone: ...

...

Kieran: Anyway, my point is, Federer comes up small under pressure when faced with Rafa's might.

Carol: *Carol35 likes this*

Cali: Nalbandian would have never allowed that to happen.

Front: Neither would WADA.

Tented: Front, that's enough. You've clearly read the ESPN rules, no PED accusations.

Front: And here we go again. Speak up against Nadal and you get censored.

GameSetandMath: I wonder if Verdasco, Lopez, Ferrer, Garcia-Lopez, Batista-Augut, Robredo, Andujar, Almagro and Suarez-Navaro will pull out of the US Open to help Rafa.

Broken_Shoelace; Uhhhh...Suarez-Navaro is a female.

Sergiy Stakhovsky: Allegedly.

Kieran: What is old Wodger up to in this match? I haven't been paying too much attention. If he wins an 8th title he'll surpass Pete...but in numbers only. We know who the real grass GOAT is, even though I don't believe in overall GOAT. I hope he comes up small like he always does against Nadal.

Federberg: Must everything turn into a Fedal conversation?

Kirijax: Unbelievable comeback by Roger to win the second set after saving 7 set points!

Kieran: Wait, two sets went by already? Who won the first set?

Tented: Novak.

Pavlik: *Posts highlight video of sets 1 and 2*

Haelfix: You wonder whether Roger will have anything left in the tank. That had to take a lot out of him.

Kieran: Just like losing to Rafa at the Australian Open in 2009 took a lot of tears out of him.

Cali: Nalbandian would have never allowed that to happen.

Britbox: Yeah, Nalbandian doesn't strike me as the type of guy to cry while watching television.

Murat: Crucial for Roger to hold his serve early in this set. You can sense a let-down.

Kieran: I've been let down since the moment these guys made it to the final.

GSM: You mean more like since the second round :snicker

Front, Federberg, nehmeth, Riotbeard, DarthFed, Herios, Fiero: LMAO!

Front: Thank god for Dustin Brown. Did I ever tell you about that time he won me $17,000 when he beat Nadal in Halle?

Britbox: ...once or twice.

I. Haychew: I hate Pholks with a passion but I don't know Iph I would ever bet money on him losing. Iph I pick him to win he loses, iph I pick him to lose, he wins.

Broken_Shoelace: Do the "ph's" show in audio form?

Krijax: And it's raining!

Cali: Nalbandian would have never allowed that to happen.

Front: Neither would Soderling.

Everyone: ...

Front: I think Soderling will be ready for next year's Wimbledon.

DarthFed: Good, another person to beat Nadal in the first week.

GSM: Ah, the memories of that Roland Garros 2009 match. Glorious.

DarthFed: Biggest upset since the 2008 Wimbledon final.

Britbox: You guys should have saved that earlier Fedal banter for this break.

Tented: Covers are off, roof is closed. We are back.

Kirijax: Novak up a break in the third. Clock is ticking for Roger.

Haelfix: Fed just can't get in Novak's service games and threaten to break.

Riotbeard: Novak one set away from winning a third Wimbledon title.

Britbox: Now that's something Nalbandian never allowed to happen.

Kieran: Amen, brother. David was too afraid to succeed. He couldn't muster up the courage to win a Wimbledon championship, much less three.

Cali: Kieran, this shows how little you understand of the essence of Nalbandian. Nalbandian's problem wasn't that he was "too afraid" as you laughably put it. You really lack the most basic understanding as to the mindset of the most talented sportsman this side of JR Smith.

Broken_Shoelace: Cali, you should make a thread about that. That would be original.

Cali: Broken boy, if I cared about originality, I would have put you on ignore by now...

...and I've already made the thread during the rain delay.

Broken_Shoelace: Man, you're fast.

Kieran: Faster than David chasing a doughnut.

Front: Are doughnuts PED's?

Kirijax: Novak with the break in the third.

Tented: The end is near for Roger.

Herios: I've been saying that for years.

Kirijax: And Novak with the second break to seal the match! The world number 1 with a scintillating performance.

John McEnroe: This could be the greatest display of grass court tennis I have ever seen.

Broken_Shoelace: Who the hell let him in? And really? This is the best display of grass court tennis you've ever seen?

John McEnroe: Calm down jackass, I was just rehearsing what I'll be saying after next year's final.

Tented: Congratulations to Novak and his fans :clap
 

Kieran

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:laydownlaughing :laydownlaughing :lolz: :clap :clap

Post of the century..."brother!" :snicker
 

calitennis127

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I love how Broken has tried to take on a posture of subversive humor in the last year or two to act as if it is natural for him. Just trying to fight the cliche-spouting label I suppose......

I just wish he would not comment on basketball. Clearly doesn't know what he is talking about, like his inane prediction that acquiring JR Smith would not lead to dominance when that is exactly what it did and JR bailed LeBron out in the playoffs to even get the Cavs to the Finals.
 

brokenshoelace

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calitennis127 said:
I love how Broken has tried to take on a posture of subversive humor in the last year or two to act as if it is natural for him. Just trying to fight the cliche-spouting label I suppose......

I just wish he would not comment on basketball. Clearly doesn't know what he is talking about, like his inane prediction that acquiring JR Smith would not lead to dominance when that is exactly what it did and JR bailed LeBron out in the playoffs to even get the Cavs to the Finals.

Sense of humor <<<<

>>>> You.
 

Kirijax

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You have to recognize the effort that went into this. Amazing. I'm pleased that I came out of this as "the bringer of obvious facts". Nothing more. :snicker

:clap
 

britbox

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Oh Cali... Take the thread in the right spirit... it's a gem. Not really the place to try and settle old scores.
 

ftan

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Amazing :clap: :clap: :clap:
So true to everyone and I am the everyone I guess:cover:cover:cover
 

Riotbeard

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We need a bow down emoticon. Too good BS! I really felt like you channeled me with "Phew," haha!

This is reminiscent of Kieran's explanation of the frontier chat bar image. Two of my favorite posts of all time.

With all the calls for a dislike button, we need an uber-like!
 

Moxie

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A timeless classic from Broken. I found the Kieran one here, just for old time's sake:

http://www.tennisfrontier.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=926&highlight=Frontier+chat
 

calitennis127

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Broken_Shoelace said:
calitennis127 said:
I love how Broken has tried to take on a posture of subversive humor in the last year or two to act as if it is natural for him. Just trying to fight the cliche-spouting label I suppose......

I just wish he would not comment on basketball. Clearly doesn't know what he is talking about, like his inane prediction that acquiring JR Smith would not lead to dominance when that is exactly what it did and JR bailed LeBron out in the playoffs to even get the Cavs to the Finals.

Sense of humor <<<<

>>>> You.

:lolz:

You know, for someone who argues against white Western Christian civilization in formal arguments, you have one of the whitest senses of humor anyone could run across. Perhaps that is why you like that hideous and stylistically challenged rock and roll that you do.
 

calitennis127

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britbox said:
Oh Cali... Take the thread in the right spirit... it's a gem. Not really the place to try and settle old scores.



To find satire funny, you usually have to agree with the underlying points being made. In this case, I don't.

As it pertains to "my" lines, all I will say is that the concept of Nalbandian doing something better originates with my comment after the Roland Garros final that Nalbandian would not have gotten housed in rallies for two and half hours by Wawrinka like Djokovic did. No one even bothered to address this argument head-on from a tennis perspective or actually discuss the details I was referring to. Everyone just started bringing up Nalbandian's failings without actually addressing my argument - which was not that Nalbandian would have necessarily won the match, but that he would not have been schooled in rally after rally for the better part of three hours. Thus, "why we should miss Nalbandian" is the baseline excellence he consistently displayed, match after match after match (whatever his other failings may have been).
 

brokenshoelace

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calitennis127 said:
Broken_Shoelace said:
calitennis127 said:
I love how Broken has tried to take on a posture of subversive humor in the last year or two to act as if it is natural for him. Just trying to fight the cliche-spouting label I suppose......

I just wish he would not comment on basketball. Clearly doesn't know what he is talking about, like his inane prediction that acquiring JR Smith would not lead to dominance when that is exactly what it did and JR bailed LeBron out in the playoffs to even get the Cavs to the Finals.

Sense of humor <<<<

>>>> You.

:lolz:

You know, for someone who argues against white Western Christian civilization in formal arguments, you have one of the whitest senses of humor anyone could run across. Perhaps that is why you like that hideous and stylistically challenged rock and roll that you do.

Lmao. I refer you to the post you quoted.

And yes, I have a white sense of humor, and I'm white, and I like Western Civilization just fine. I belong to it, in fact. The only thing you mentioned that I'm not, is Christian. Quite what does that have to do with this thread is beyond me, but it's slightly more relevant than your Nalbandian threads so I'll let it pass.

And only Cali could turn this thread into another freak out. What an obnoxious idiot. For someone who argues for white Western Christian civilizations in formal arguments, you have no sense of humor whatsoever.
 

calitennis127

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Broken_Shoelace said:
And only Cali could turn this thread into another freak out. What an obnoxious idiot. For someone who argues for white Western Christian civilizations in formal arguments, you have no sense of humor whatsoever.

No, you are just completely cheesy and lame. Your sarcasm is utterly predictable and bland. I have to force myself to grin at your attempts at "jokes".
 

Kieran

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calitennis127 said:
Broken_Shoelace said:
And only Cali could turn this thread into another freak out. What an obnoxious idiot. For someone who argues for white Western Christian civilizations in formal arguments, you have no sense of humor whatsoever.

No, you are just completely cheesy and lame. Your sarcasm is utterly predictable and bland. I have to force myself to grin at your attempts at "jokes".

"Brother, you still don't get it..." :cover
 

calitennis127

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Kieran said:
calitennis127 said:
Broken_Shoelace said:
And only Cali could turn this thread into another freak out. What an obnoxious idiot. For someone who argues for white Western Christian civilizations in formal arguments, you have no sense of humor whatsoever.

No, you are just completely cheesy and lame. Your sarcasm is utterly predictable and bland. I have to force myself to grin at your attempts at "jokes".

"Brother, you still don't get it..." :cover

I get it almost as well as your ludicrous satire comparing Nalbandian to Monfils.
 

Kieran

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calitennis127 said:
Kieran said:
calitennis127 said:
No, you are just completely cheesy and lame. Your sarcasm is utterly predictable and bland. I have to force myself to grin at your attempts at "jokes".

"Brother, you still don't get it..." :cover

I get it almost as well as your ludicrous satire comparing Nalbandian to Monfils.

Well, if I did it, I was right... :popcorn