don_fabio
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Federberg
The GOAT
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Federberg
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Federberg
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Federberg
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Not sure about this one but oh well....
A team of sociologists have planned an experiment in isolation.
They send an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Chinese man to a
deserted island and arrange to come back and see how they have adapted.
The sociologists leave, and the three men decide to split up the tasks
amongst themselves.
"I'm an engineer," says the Englishman, "so I'll handle building a shelter."
He turns to the Frenchman and says: "You French are pretty good cooks
so why don't you handle the cooking?" The Frenchman agrees,
and the Englishman turns to the Japanese and says, "That leaves you to
organise the supplies." The Chinese man agrees and each man
sets about his task.
A year passes, and the sociologists return to see how the men have
coped. They expect to find three desperate men, unhappy with having
to live on the island, but instead find a huge wooden house with verandas
and porches and balconies.
The Englishman comes to greet them, and when they express their
surprise about the house he just shrugs and says, "Yeah well I had a lot of raw materials so I kind of went to town and did the place up."
The team are amazed and are shown inside to the kitchen where they're
greeted with the most amazing smell of delicious food.
The Frenchman sees their surprise and just shrugs. "I had lots to work with," he says. "This island has loads of edible herbs and plants."
The team sits down to eat and are about to start when one of them
enquires about the Chinese man. "Oh we don't know what happened to
him," explains the Englishman, "he ran off into the woods to sort out
the supplies and hasn't been seen since."
They all agree that they should try to find the man, and a search party is organised. They make it about 100 yards into the woods, when
the Chinese man jumps out from behind a tree, stark naked with half a
coconut on his head, and peacock feathers sticking out of his backside, and shouts...
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> SUPPLIES!!!"
A team of sociologists have planned an experiment in isolation.
They send an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Chinese man to a
deserted island and arrange to come back and see how they have adapted.
The sociologists leave, and the three men decide to split up the tasks
amongst themselves.
"I'm an engineer," says the Englishman, "so I'll handle building a shelter."
He turns to the Frenchman and says: "You French are pretty good cooks
so why don't you handle the cooking?" The Frenchman agrees,
and the Englishman turns to the Japanese and says, "That leaves you to
organise the supplies." The Chinese man agrees and each man
sets about his task.
A year passes, and the sociologists return to see how the men have
coped. They expect to find three desperate men, unhappy with having
to live on the island, but instead find a huge wooden house with verandas
and porches and balconies.
The Englishman comes to greet them, and when they express their
surprise about the house he just shrugs and says, "Yeah well I had a lot of raw materials so I kind of went to town and did the place up."
The team are amazed and are shown inside to the kitchen where they're
greeted with the most amazing smell of delicious food.
The Frenchman sees their surprise and just shrugs. "I had lots to work with," he says. "This island has loads of edible herbs and plants."
The team sits down to eat and are about to start when one of them
enquires about the Chinese man. "Oh we don't know what happened to
him," explains the Englishman, "he ran off into the woods to sort out
the supplies and hasn't been seen since."
They all agree that they should try to find the man, and a search party is organised. They make it about 100 yards into the woods, when
the Chinese man jumps out from behind a tree, stark naked with half a
coconut on his head, and peacock feathers sticking out of his backside, and shouts...
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> SUPPLIES!!!"
Federberg
The GOAT
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A male whale is with his girlfriend female whale
The male suggests that they go below a human boat and blow through their blowholes.
"C'mon, it will be fun!" He said. The girlfriend replyed "Ok, anything for you honey."
And so they go below a boat with humans on it and they blow. The boat went flying, and fell on its side.
"Look at all of those humans" he said, "They are all in the water now" he continued, "Let's swallow them!"
The girlfriend whale didn't like that idea and said "Ok, I may have went ahead with the blow job, but in no way am I gonna be swallowing seamen"
The male suggests that they go below a human boat and blow through their blowholes.
"C'mon, it will be fun!" He said. The girlfriend replyed "Ok, anything for you honey."
And so they go below a boat with humans on it and they blow. The boat went flying, and fell on its side.
"Look at all of those humans" he said, "They are all in the water now" he continued, "Let's swallow them!"
The girlfriend whale didn't like that idea and said "Ok, I may have went ahead with the blow job, but in no way am I gonna be swallowing seamen"
tented
Administrator
A lost dog strays into a jungle. A lion sees this from a distance and says with caution "this guy looks edible, never seen his kind before".
So the lion starts rushing towards the dog with menace. The dog notices and starts to panic but as he's about to run he sees some bones next to him and gets an idea and says loudly "mmm...that was some good lion meat!".
The lion abruptly stops and says " woah! This guy seems tougher then he looks, I better leave while I can".
Over by the tree top, a monkey witnessed everything. Evidently, the monkey realizes the he can benefit from this situation by telling the lion and getting something in return. So the monkey proceeds to tell the lion what really happened and the lion says angrily "get on my back, we'll get him together".
So they start rushing back to the dog. The dog sees them and realized what happened and starts to panic even more. He then gets another idea and shouts "where the hell is that monkey! I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago..."
So the lion starts rushing towards the dog with menace. The dog notices and starts to panic but as he's about to run he sees some bones next to him and gets an idea and says loudly "mmm...that was some good lion meat!".
The lion abruptly stops and says " woah! This guy seems tougher then he looks, I better leave while I can".
Over by the tree top, a monkey witnessed everything. Evidently, the monkey realizes the he can benefit from this situation by telling the lion and getting something in return. So the monkey proceeds to tell the lion what really happened and the lion says angrily "get on my back, we'll get him together".
So they start rushing back to the dog. The dog sees them and realized what happened and starts to panic even more. He then gets another idea and shouts "where the hell is that monkey! I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago..."
Federberg
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Federberg
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tented
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Federberg
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Donald Trump met with the Queen of England, and he asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?"
"Well," replied the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Trump frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around you are really intelligent?"
The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle."
The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send Boris Johnson in here, would you?"
The Prime Minster walked into the room and said, "Yes, Your Majesty?"
The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this, if you would, Boris. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, he answered, "That would be me."
"Yes! Very good," said the Queen.
Trump went back home to ask Mike Pence the same question. “ Mike, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," said Pence. "Let me get back to you on that one." He went to his advisers and asked everyone, but none could give him an answer.
Finally, Pence ran in to his friend Jack Murphy in a restaurant the next night. Pence asked, "Jack, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Jack Murphy answered right back, "That's easy, it's me!"
Pence smiled, and said, "Thanks!"
Pence then went back to speak with Trump. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle: It's my friend Jack Murphy!"
Trump got up, stomped over to Pence, and angrily yelled, "No, you idiot! It's Boris Johnson!"
"Well," replied the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Trump frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around you are really intelligent?"
The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle."
The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send Boris Johnson in here, would you?"
The Prime Minster walked into the room and said, "Yes, Your Majesty?"
The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this, if you would, Boris. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, he answered, "That would be me."
"Yes! Very good," said the Queen.
Trump went back home to ask Mike Pence the same question. “ Mike, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," said Pence. "Let me get back to you on that one." He went to his advisers and asked everyone, but none could give him an answer.
Finally, Pence ran in to his friend Jack Murphy in a restaurant the next night. Pence asked, "Jack, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Jack Murphy answered right back, "That's easy, it's me!"
Pence smiled, and said, "Thanks!"
Pence then went back to speak with Trump. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle: It's my friend Jack Murphy!"
Trump got up, stomped over to Pence, and angrily yelled, "No, you idiot! It's Boris Johnson!"
