This is a fairy-tale I wrote which I'd have loved someone to have written when I was a little girl. I know I need to develop it a little but I'd welcome constructive criticism.
Horseland
Once upon a time there was a very old king who had a long, grey beard & moustache. He was called Harry. This king lived in a palace of pure crystal that sparkled & flashed in the sunlight like a great, big block of pure ice. The palace stood in a great, big garden & in this garden where all his people lived because he was such a nice king, there grew oranges, pears & wild cherry trees & tulips, roses & lilies-of-the-valley blossomed there & bright-coloured birds sang. All the birds in his Kingdom were bright-coloured & Pegasus lived there & there were unicorns & ponies, horses & donkeys in Horseland because he used to have a lovely wife called Angela who used to love horses but was turned into a fairy by an old witch who she defeated but could never regain her human appearance & all the other animals had turned into the ones Angela loved most. Pegasus is a winged horse. On nice, bright, sunny days Jack used to ride Pegasus over his palace & garden to admire the lovely view & visit a land a few miles away from him called Beachland where there were lots of lovely sandy beaches & he could paddle in the nice, cool, relaxing water which was that clean you could see the fish swim over your feet or lay on the nice, clean sand which was as white as snow & listen to the birds singing & go to sleep until it got too cold. In the palace gardens were lots of large fountains which sprayed right up to the top of the highest trees you can imagine & 1 of these fountains was a water fountain. There was also an orange juice & apple juice fountain as well as a cola & lemonade fountain. To cap it all, there was a milk fountain & a chocolate fountain. These fountains produced the nicest tasting drinks ever that just quenched your thirst then made you want more.
Harry had only 1 son who was heir to the Kingdom, a little boy aged 7. His name was Mark. He was a good boy & always went to bed early & got up early, he never did anything wrong. Mark had blonde hair & he could play any instrument you can name & he danced & acted well but couldn't sing very well. Every time Mark sung the ice shattered & the birds flew away except the peacock. He was very artistic & very clever indeed.
When Mark got to the age of 16, he went to the neighbouring country which was very similar to the 1 his father ruled but was full of all different kinds of dogs because he used to have a wife who was the wicked witch that Angela had defeated called Eve. Eve's land was under a spell that changed all the other animals into nice dogs until her daughter found a handsome prince to marry. If anyone was ever cruel to the dogs they got turned into dogs themselves. It was called Dogland. Dogland was ruled by a King very much like his father but he only had 1 daughter. This King was called Don. His daughter was called Dawn. Dawn was the same age as Mark but she had dark hair which was very curly. She made mistakes sometimes though & although she was very clever & could sing & act couldn't dance or play any musical instruments. The mistakes she made were due to her not being very good with her hands. She broke cups, saucers & plates every time she washed up. Every time she sung though everything she broke repaired itself. Now as soon as he 1st saw her he fell in love with her & she felt the same way. They both spoke to their parents who agreed to pay for their wedding.
He got married in a kilt suit & had pipers playing at the wedding. She wore a gold dress to the wedding. Her ring was encrusted with every single gem you could mention. They had a gold horse-drawn carriage to take them to the church where they married. The page boys wore formal suits & the brides-maids wore Amethyst coloured silk dresses. Everyone had the biggest party you could imagine afterwards & were so happy & both Kings built a new palace in between the Kingdoms. This palace was solid gold. They assembled a band which made the most beautiful music you could dream of. The band was very successful & made lots of money. They had beautiful children & lived happily ever after.
The end.
