The ATP tour had their doozies among the trophies and the WTA is no exception. Actually, it just might be worse. There are less tournaments on the WTA tour but the amount of glass vases given out is alarming. Some tournaments try to be authentic (Dubai), try too hard (Beijing) or just stopped caring altogether (Strasbourg). The first-tournament-win-gets-a-crap-trophy rule applies on the WTA as well. Let’s take a look at some of the disasters from the 2015 tour.
10. Rio (Winner: Sara Errani)
Tennis trophies are tough to design. I’ll agree. But that’s a ball going into the net. And giving the winner a trophy that reminds them of all their errors or double faults seems a bit cruel. We’ve all seen that ball hitting the middle of the net a gazillion times so I don’t think we need a trophy to remind us of it. Maybe that’s why Errani is trying to devour the thing.
9. Madrid (Winner: Petra Kvitova)
I’ll never forget the look Serena Williams had when they gave her this thing. It’s a good idea, maybe, in principal and maybe looks really cool close up where you can see all the winner’s names, but from this point of view, too many ideas spring into my head and as I perverted as I am, I can write about none of them without getting a lifetime ban from this site.
8. Moscow (Winner: Svetlana Kuznetsova)
This trophy is so sad and drab looking, I almost feel sorry for Kuznetsova. I heard she was thrilled to finally win her hometown trophy, but that thing isn’t even polished. Sorry Moscow, but an E for effort is all you are gonna get on this one.
7. Washington D.C. (Winner: Sloane Stephens)
Not only is it a glass trophy, it’s a GIANT glass trophy. And it’s top heavy so it’ll topple over at the slightest tremor on the Richter Scale. This is one time when I would envy the runner-up who got a human-size trophy. This includes all glass trophies. And there are a lot of them on the WTA tour.
6. Katowice (Winner: Karolina Schmiedlova)
Well, this is new. A stained glass window pane with a tennis motif. File it under “Original but still a crappy trophyâ€. The only thing I’d be thinking during the trophy ceremony is how the heck I’m going to get it home with it shattering into colored shards. Glass in any way, shape or form doesn’t make a good trophy. Even with that extra special tennis motif.
5. Cincinnati (Winner: Serena Williams)
This got honorary mention on the men’s list but I had to put it on here. Enough with the vases. Stop! It doesn’t matter if it is crystal, clay, glass, aluminum, or whatever. Vases should never be trophies. And this one is especially ugly, even though they did try to gussy it up a bit. Poor Federer. He’s got like 15 of these lying around his house.
4. Bastad (Winner: Johanna Larsson)
This one is so good it earns a place on both men’s and women’s lists. Seriously? A pig with wings on top of a block of wood? Come on! The smiles on the winners’ faces is not from the joy of winning the tournament but from laughing so hard at getting such ridiculous trophy. “Hahaha, very funny. Silly trophy. Ha-ha-ha. Okay, now bring out the real one. Come on now. Where is it? Enough with the candid camera joke. Come on now…â€
3. Hong Kong (Winner: Jelena Jankovic)
Yablabasfpbnaerl –buiasvdtsthsdgthppphhhhhh! That’s Tasmanian Devil for “Look at this beautiful trophy!†Every American who grew up watching Saturday morning cartoons had to be reminded of the growling, sputtering spinning tornado when they saw this trophy. File this one under “WTH were they thinking?â€
2. Netherlands: (Camelia Giorgi)
Giorgi finally won her first pro title at the Pooper Scooper Open. At least it’s gold-plated. Maybe. Every cat owner in the world would think the same thing. Maybe it comes with a cat. Don’t forget the litter box. And a year’s supply of litter box sand.
1. Hobart (Winner: Heather Watson)
What is this? It looks like they took a piece of driftwood and slapped some gold stickers on it. Sometimes I want to see inside the winner’s head as the proud tournament organizers wheel out these beauties. This is definitely one that I just leave in the locker room. Just give me the winner’s check and I’ll be on my way.
The Best Trophies list will be out soon. In the mean time, take a look at the Worst Trophies from the ATP Tour! Link
10. Rio (Winner: Sara Errani)
Tennis trophies are tough to design. I’ll agree. But that’s a ball going into the net. And giving the winner a trophy that reminds them of all their errors or double faults seems a bit cruel. We’ve all seen that ball hitting the middle of the net a gazillion times so I don’t think we need a trophy to remind us of it. Maybe that’s why Errani is trying to devour the thing.
9. Madrid (Winner: Petra Kvitova)
I’ll never forget the look Serena Williams had when they gave her this thing. It’s a good idea, maybe, in principal and maybe looks really cool close up where you can see all the winner’s names, but from this point of view, too many ideas spring into my head and as I perverted as I am, I can write about none of them without getting a lifetime ban from this site.
8. Moscow (Winner: Svetlana Kuznetsova)
This trophy is so sad and drab looking, I almost feel sorry for Kuznetsova. I heard she was thrilled to finally win her hometown trophy, but that thing isn’t even polished. Sorry Moscow, but an E for effort is all you are gonna get on this one.
7. Washington D.C. (Winner: Sloane Stephens)
Not only is it a glass trophy, it’s a GIANT glass trophy. And it’s top heavy so it’ll topple over at the slightest tremor on the Richter Scale. This is one time when I would envy the runner-up who got a human-size trophy. This includes all glass trophies. And there are a lot of them on the WTA tour.
6. Katowice (Winner: Karolina Schmiedlova)
Well, this is new. A stained glass window pane with a tennis motif. File it under “Original but still a crappy trophyâ€. The only thing I’d be thinking during the trophy ceremony is how the heck I’m going to get it home with it shattering into colored shards. Glass in any way, shape or form doesn’t make a good trophy. Even with that extra special tennis motif.
5. Cincinnati (Winner: Serena Williams)
This got honorary mention on the men’s list but I had to put it on here. Enough with the vases. Stop! It doesn’t matter if it is crystal, clay, glass, aluminum, or whatever. Vases should never be trophies. And this one is especially ugly, even though they did try to gussy it up a bit. Poor Federer. He’s got like 15 of these lying around his house.
4. Bastad (Winner: Johanna Larsson)
This one is so good it earns a place on both men’s and women’s lists. Seriously? A pig with wings on top of a block of wood? Come on! The smiles on the winners’ faces is not from the joy of winning the tournament but from laughing so hard at getting such ridiculous trophy. “Hahaha, very funny. Silly trophy. Ha-ha-ha. Okay, now bring out the real one. Come on now. Where is it? Enough with the candid camera joke. Come on now…â€
3. Hong Kong (Winner: Jelena Jankovic)
Yablabasfpbnaerl –buiasvdtsthsdgthppphhhhhh! That’s Tasmanian Devil for “Look at this beautiful trophy!†Every American who grew up watching Saturday morning cartoons had to be reminded of the growling, sputtering spinning tornado when they saw this trophy. File this one under “WTH were they thinking?â€
2. Netherlands: (Camelia Giorgi)
Giorgi finally won her first pro title at the Pooper Scooper Open. At least it’s gold-plated. Maybe. Every cat owner in the world would think the same thing. Maybe it comes with a cat. Don’t forget the litter box. And a year’s supply of litter box sand.
1. Hobart (Winner: Heather Watson)
What is this? It looks like they took a piece of driftwood and slapped some gold stickers on it. Sometimes I want to see inside the winner’s head as the proud tournament organizers wheel out these beauties. This is definitely one that I just leave in the locker room. Just give me the winner’s check and I’ll be on my way.
The Best Trophies list will be out soon. In the mean time, take a look at the Worst Trophies from the ATP Tour! Link
