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A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to re-frame or re-interpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.
Let's kick things off with religious or vintage- related quotes, shall we:
1. “When one person suffers from a delusion it is called insanity; when many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion.”—Robert Pirsig
2. “The cardinal doctrine of a fanatic’s creed is that his enemies are the enemies of God.”—Andrew Dickson White
3. “We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further.”—Richard Dawkins
4. “Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.” (A risqué critique of Christianity)—George Carlin, American comedian, social critic, actor, and author
5. “Atheism is a non-prophet organization.”—George Carlin
6. “All religions are the same: religion is basically guilt, with different holidays.—Cathy Ladman
7. Definition of term: “Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.—Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary
8. “I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.”*—Anonymous
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*Alas, this seems every bit like the moral principle of unbridled plunderers of our government coffers.
On society and its predilections:
1. “A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually.”—Abba Eban
2. “If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you’re right.”—Mary Kay Ash
3. The Senility Prayer: “God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.”—Anonymous
4. “Men do make passes at ladies who wear glasses; it depends on their frames.”—Dorothy Parker
5. “A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.”—Robert Frost
Last one is the best of the lot..
“If you planted hope today in any hopeless heart,
If someone’s burden was lighter because you did your part,
If you caused a laugh that chased a tear away,
If tonight your name is mentioned when someone kneels to pray,
Then your day was well spent.”
—Anonymous
Let's kick things off with religious or vintage- related quotes, shall we:
1. “When one person suffers from a delusion it is called insanity; when many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion.”—Robert Pirsig
2. “The cardinal doctrine of a fanatic’s creed is that his enemies are the enemies of God.”—Andrew Dickson White
3. “We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further.”—Richard Dawkins
4. “Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.” (A risqué critique of Christianity)—George Carlin, American comedian, social critic, actor, and author
5. “Atheism is a non-prophet organization.”—George Carlin
6. “All religions are the same: religion is basically guilt, with different holidays.—Cathy Ladman
7. Definition of term: “Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.—Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary
8. “I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.”*—Anonymous
----------
*Alas, this seems every bit like the moral principle of unbridled plunderers of our government coffers.
On society and its predilections:
1. “A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually.”—Abba Eban
2. “If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you’re right.”—Mary Kay Ash
3. The Senility Prayer: “God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.”—Anonymous
4. “Men do make passes at ladies who wear glasses; it depends on their frames.”—Dorothy Parker
5. “A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.”—Robert Frost
Last one is the best of the lot..
“If you planted hope today in any hopeless heart,
If someone’s burden was lighter because you did your part,
If you caused a laugh that chased a tear away,
If tonight your name is mentioned when someone kneels to pray,
Then your day was well spent.”
—Anonymous
